


Bonds of Love

by HotAndColdAF



Category: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken
Genre: Drama, Feels, M/M, Mid-Canon, One Shot, References to Illness, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3878878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotAndColdAF/pseuds/HotAndColdAF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the chapter Kinship's Bond, Oswin and Uther discuss the matter of Uther's illness and how to keep it secret from Hector.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonds of Love

Had Hector's shoulders always seemed so broad or was he just imagining it, Uther wondered to himself as he watched his brother walk away. His stride, too, had it always spoken such of determination and confidence? It had always seemed like a childish swagger before, but now.... Now it seemed that Uther was searching desperately for any sign that Hector was prepared for the immense burden that would soon fall to him, a burden Uther had hoped he would never have to carry. He had hoped to bring Hector home with him and use the time he had remaining to instruct him, but when his brother and his friends had shared news of dragons.... He and his wishes had no hopes of comparing. All he could do was hold his tongue and trust that Oswin would be able to counsel his brother in his place when the time came.

"Oh! Oswin." Hector's voice echoed off the stones of the hallway, bringing Uther out of his thoughts. His brother had stopped suddenly at the end of the hallway, and he was addressing someone around the corner, hidden from Uther's view. "Have you been waiting for long?"

Unlike Hector's carelessly loud voice, the reply that came was reserved and softspoken, too much so for Uther to clearly make out the response at such a distance. He didn't really need to hear the answer to guess what it was, though—something about how it hadn't been very long at all, no doubt. Hector's response confirmed his suspicions.

"You'd say much the same if I'd been speaking with him for hours, I'd imagine. But I'm done with him now, so go ahead and say your piece. We'll be leaving here soon enough, though, so be quick about it, or we'll leave you behind!"

With that parting remark, Hector disappeared around the corner, and Oswin soon replaced him. He looked well, and Uther mentally scolded himself for the relief he felt at that. Oswin had never been much of one for deception; if he _wasn't_ well, it surely would've been reported to him already, and there was no such information among the ill news he had already heard. This newfound surge of paranoia was uncalled for, especially when directed at the person he knew he could trust the most, and he had no one but himself to blame for it. As well as his treacherous reputation had been earned, he had never tried to deceive his own loved ones so thoroughly, and it seemed the weight of it upon his conscience was more than he expected.

Oswin approached Uther and knelt before him, his head bowed deeply and his tone one of deference. "I am ready to make my report, my lord."

"I expect it's quite eventful. I shall hear it in private." He gestured towards the door of a nearby side room and turned to his attendants. "Keep watch. Let no one enter." The knights nodded in assent and wordlessly took up watch on either side of the door as Uther opened it.

It was a small meeting room, with a square table surrounded by chairs in its center; a simple break room for the soldiers posted at this fort, by the looks of it. Any visual signs of how the room was typically used had been cleared away in anticipation of the fort's noble visitors, but it still smelt vaguely of smoke, and Uther fought back a cough that threatened to break loose from his throat. If he had a fit now, there would be no hope of normal conversation. He swallowed the tickling sensation in his throat and forced himself to speak as though everything was fine, facing away from the door to make sure Oswin couldn't see any effort that might show on his face. "You and Hector look to be getting along well," he said with a chuckle as Oswin closed the door behind them. "I had thought that word of dragons would be the greatest surprise this day had in store for me, but it seems I was mistaken."

He'd expected Oswin to scold him for making light of such a serious situation, or perhaps to deny that he was going as easy on Hector as it appeared, but no reply came. Concerned, Uther turned to face him. Oswin hadn't budged an inch after closing the door, not even to take his hand off the doorknob. The set of his jaw, the way he was staring at--no, _through_ \--the floor, even the way his hand gripped the doorknob, all of it made it very clear to Uther that Oswin was _furious_. A bad sign, to be certain. Even after a moment's pause, Oswin remained motionless, so Uther spoke again first, forcing his tone to stay light. "What is it, Oswin? Is something amiss?"

Oswin shut his eyes and inhaled sharply before finally answering brusquely. "Why are you here? Haven't you been told you should be resting?"

Of course. Oswin had already been worried about his health even before he left to follow Hector; there was no hope of him accepting any other topic when it was so apparent that said health had gotten worse.

"I have been told something of the sort, yes," Uther admitted as he turned back towards the table. He pulled out one of its chairs, turned it to face outwards, and sat down, gesturing to Oswin to take one as well. "But you know even better than I the kind of news my brother has brought. Don't you agree that it was worth venturing out to hear with my own ears?"

Oswin's stiff posture and stern glare remained as they were, even as he drew nearer. "Your health must come first, my lord. If you do not rest properly, how do you expect your strength to recover? Ostia--"

" _Oswin._ " Uther's voice took on a forceful tone, and he gestured again to the nearest chair, more firmly. This time, Oswin obeyed the unspoken command and pulled the chair close to Uther's before sitting down silently, his severe expression softening to show the concern behind it.

Uther took a slow, shaky breath, bracing himself for what he had to say next. He hadn't wanted to spring the news on Oswin like this, but if he was going to press the issue, there was no helping it. "I... have spoken with several physicians, and they have all reached the same conclusion. This disease.... It is the very same one that took my parents' lives. So no matter how much I might rest.... My strength will never return to me."

Uther watched Oswin, gauging his reaction. He stared at the floor in silence again, but it was completely different from the way he'd done so at the door. There, he had been set in his anger, but here, instead, having his worst fears confirmed seemed to have left him at a loss. Uther wished there was something he could do to make it easier on him, but he knew all too well how impossible it was to soften this blow. He placed a hand on Oswin's leg anyway, and Oswin covered it with his own wordlessly.

Finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "There is truly... nothing that can be done?"

Uther matched his volume when he answered. "There is nothing," he said, shaking his head sadly. "They say... I shall be lucky to see the year's end." Oswin's hand became tense and the look of anguish that passed briefly over his face did not escape Uther's notice. He moved closer to Oswin, wrapping his arms around him in a loose embrace and resting his head against his lover's. "I'm sorry. I wish I could spare you this pain."

Oswin leaned into the embrace, falling silent for another length of time. Finally he whispered another question. "...You haven't told Lord Hector?" Though it was mostly rhetorical, Uther answered anyway.

"No. There will be time enough for that after he returns to Ostia. For now.... The task in front of him is too important. He cannot afford to be distracted. Until this is over, he cannot be allowed to know the truth."

He drew apart from Oswin and sat up straight once more. His next words he needed to speak as a lord, not a lover. "I trust you are capable of handling this task for me?"

Just as he expected, he saw the protest in Oswin's eyes before it escaped his lips. "What? How could I leave you alone in this condition? Leave the task of deception to Matthew; he's better suited to it."

"It's not that simple," Uther said firmly. "Hector must not be given any reason to think even the slightest thing is amiss. I have already given them my deepest regrets that I cannot provide them with any more aid. If I were to steal away some of the slight aid I've already lent after saying such a thing, why, not even the greatest of fools would be incapable of finding that suspicious! Surely you must understand this, Oswin!"

Oswin looked taken aback momentarily, then lowered his head contritely. "You're right, of course. I apologize for the rashness of my comment. But, still, there must be some feasible excuse...."

Uther sighed softly and reached out with one hand to cup Oswin's cheek, gently angling his face back upwards before pulling him into a tender kiss. Even when their lips eventually parted, their faces didn't, foreheads pressed firmly together. "I understand very well how you feel. I wish I could bring you and Hector both home with me, but it's simply not possible. Hector is needed here at Eliwood's side, and you must stay at Hector's side. You swore your service to him, did you not? How many times have you told me that you must be a knight before a lover? Are you going to choose now of all times to betray your principles, with the threat of dragons hanging over our heads?"

"I...." Uther could feel Oswin's brow furrow against his own, could hear the pain in even that single, brief word. Perhaps he had been too cruel with his questions. It was true that Oswin had made his position on their relative ranks clear time and time again, and that the dire nature of the current situation did not allow for flexibility, but using his words so harshly against the man he loved was surely unnecessary.

Uther spoke as soothingly as he could manage while stroking Oswin's face. "I truly am sorry. I know it's a cruel and unfair thing that I am asking of you. It pains me to hurt you like this. But, please, try to understand. The stakes are too high to allow you to return with me, or even spare you a chance to mourn. Instead, you must stand strong and endure, so you can watch over my brother and my home in my stead. I know it will be difficult, but I have faith in you, Oswin. So, please, for your own sake, let go of your personal feelings and focus only on fulfilling your duty as a knight. It will be easier for you in the end." He drew away from Oswin as he finished, sitting up straight once more.

Oswin remained stooped over. After a long pause, he spoke quietly, voice almost more a sigh than a whisper, "...I cannot."

"Oswin, you--!" Uther was cut short by a raised hand. It was such a rare thing for Oswin to interrupt him like this that he couldn't help but fall silent and wait for him to continue.

"Please, hear me out. As you said, my duty as a knight is to Lord Hector. But my oath to him entails more than simply staying at his side. I must stay true to him and obey his commands. If he were to ask me about your condition... I would be compelled to tell him the truth." He paused as though to let what he said sink in, and Uther nodded for him to continue. As he spoke, he straightened up in his seat, his sorrowful hesitance replaced by a firm determination.

"That is my duty to him as a knight. But my duty to you as a lover.... even more than being at your side... It is to share your burdens, no matter how difficult they may be, to ease the pain of their weight on your shoulders. And so, I would like to make an exception, if you will allow it. The burden of being apart, the burden of looking after Lord Hector, and the burden of deceiving him, I will carry all of them for you. Not as a knight, but as a lover."

Uther was left speechless for a brief moment before his surprised expression gave way to a pleased smile accompanied by a wry chuckle. "I believe I can allow that."

Oswin smiled back in turn. "You have my thanks, Uther."

Uther could feel his heart swell at finally seeing that smile again and hearing his own name spoken without any honorifics attached. "Hah. I should be giving my thanks to you." He reached out to wrap his arms around Oswin, pulling him in close once more. "Thank you, Oswin. For all that you've done."

Despite his earlier smile, the regret in Oswin's voice was audible as he returned the embrace. "If I could only do more...."

Uther laid his head against the armor covering Oswin's broad shoulders, letting the cold metal soothe his fevered skin as he spoke. "Now is no time for 'if only.' You must keep moving forward. If there is any regretting to be done, you may leave that task to me. I'll have precious little else to occupy my time while I await your return."

Oswin brought his hand up to Uther's head, idly brushing through his hair as he held him close. "Uther...."

"You don't have to lecture me, Oswin; I truly will stay in bed and rest from now on. You needn't worry about that."

Even before Oswin rose further protest, Uther knew that wasn't the true cause of his concern. "Uther. You can't promise--"

"No. I _will_ be waiting for you. You and Hector both. I will _not_ fall before your return. You know I am a stubborn man; Death will not find me to be easy prey."

Oswin paused again before releasing a quiet, defeated sigh. "...Very well. I will believe in that and hurry back to see you again."

"Good. Then you had best be going." Despite his words, Uther found it even harder than he would've liked to lift his head from Oswin's shoulder and to pull his arms back from around him. "We'd both look like quite the fools if Hector stayed true to his threat to leave you behind."

Oswin proved even more reluctant to leave the embrace as he pulled Uther into a kiss instead. Uther tacitly accepted the delay, quietly cherishing the rough feeling of Oswin's gauntlets against his face. He'd often felt that the time he could spend alone with Oswin like this was all too brief, but this moment in particular, he wished would last an eternity. But that was impossible, and finally Oswin released him and rose from his seat.

Uther did not follow suit. "Go on ahead, Oswin. I will rest here a while before returning to Ostia. Give my regards to Duke Reglay and his wife when you see them."

The transition back to obedient knight was seamless as Oswin bowed politely in response. "As you wish, my lord. Good fortune go with you."

Uther scoffed lightly. What a meaningless platitude to give a dying man. "Keep your good fortune for yourself, Oswin. It will be of more use to you than me."

But Oswin was not so easily deterred, and he placed his hand on Uther's arm, as if to communicate his sincerity. "My good fortune and yours are one and the same."

Uther's hand covered Oswin's own before gently dislodging it. A shared fortune, yes, and a shared happiness, too; one that would disappear from this world along with Uther. But as much as he hoped Oswin would find new solace after his passing, now was no time to express such sentiments. "That is all the more reason for you to hold onto your share, then. Take that luck so you and Hector may return to Ostia even more quickly."

Oswin opened his mouth as if to protest, but he soon closed it again with an obedient, defeated nod. "Very well. I will return with all haste."

Although he knew Oswin's mind was doubtlessly already racing with untold fears and regrets, Uther smiled. "Thank you, Oswin." Perhaps it would've been kinder to let Oswin fully speak his mind, but if he did that, surely neither of them would be able to leave with the composure they needed. "You are dismissed."

With another nod, Oswin moved to the door, but he hesitated before opening it, as though he had something more he wanted to say. In the end, he apparently decided against it and simply left in silence.

Whatever it was he thought about saying, Uther would never know.


End file.
